One Percent Sheer Terror!

Somebody once described being in a war as 98 percent boredom and 2 percent sheer terror, well anti poaching operations are a bit like that, except it is 98 percent boredom, 1 percent excitement and 1 percent sheer terror.  Well I had my 1 percent sheer terror last night!

AJ and I were in an observation post (OP) watching a road that was a potential poacher route, with one of us awake and one asleep in firm base about 50 m behind the OP.  At about 1900 hr I was on watch when I heard an elephant down the road which sounded like it was heading my way.  I thought to myself that if it got any closer I would move back to the firm base, wake AJ and wait until it moved off, then F#%K there it was about 20 m away walking up the road towards me!  Not to worry, I had a plan for elephants which I had covered in orders, which was to shelter behind or on top of a small brick building about 30 m away, however the fatal flaw in the plan was that the elephant was between me and the building!  By this time the elephant was only about 5 m away and walking up the road but had not yet detected me.  I thought if I jump up and run back to the firm base it will probably get startled and charge me (a thought which AJ proved true later in the night) and as the breeze was in my face I decided to just stay put and not make a sound.  By this stage the elephant was only about 2 m away and I could recognise it as (Bad Attitude) Umfumu.  Do you know how big an elephant appears when you are sitting on the ground looking up at it?  So with nothing moving but my eyeballs I watched as he leisurely walked past me and headed off down a side road.  You know, once again those long ago instructors at the Royal Military College didn’t cover this one!  Anyway, to slow my racing heart I poured myself a nice cup hot chocolate from the thermos and put in a healthy slug of bourbon from my hip flask (Jack Daniels is only about $30 a bottle over here!) and sat back to enjoy the rest of my shift.

AJ relieved me at 2100 and I moved back to the firm base for a rest.  Anyway at 2222 hr (yes I looked at my watch) I was woken by an almighty racket at the OP site, and I thought to myself while I was lying there that it sounded like an elephant.  The next thing I know AJ is shouting “Gary, Gary wake up an elephant is charging me” as he appears out of the darkness sprinting through the African bush (no mean feat in the dark as every plant has thorns), rifle in one hand, Oertjies (the dog) in the other with an elephant close behind.  Thanks AJ for leading it right towards my sleeping spot!  So next thing I realise we are both running for our lives (literally) when AJ says “lets get behind the warthog mound as it won’t charge over the top”.  So far his best plan of the night!  So we shelter behind the warthog mound in a group of four quite large trees which even an elephant would have difficulty pushing over together.  By this stage we are sure it was BA Umfumu who had circled back around to our location.  To our relief he had lost sight and scent of us.  Umfumu then threw a temper tantrum for about 10 minutes indiscriminately pushing over trees and creating damage around the firm base (I was worried for my pack and sleeping bag) before wandering off randomly pushing down trees across the road to annoy us.

So that was my 1 percent sheer terror for the month!

A photo of Bukisa (not BA Umfumu), just so you can imagine sitting at his feet about 2 m away and looking up at that massive side in the dark, close enough to see the detail and recognise him as a specific individual.

BA Umfumu charging the bakkie (ute) a few weeks ago, and what we would have seen if we had taken the time to look over our shoulders last night (except it was dark!).

AJ and Oertjies the morning after!