19 Jul 11
About 25 years ago as a young Staff Cadet at the Royal Military College, Duntroon we were taught how to do the perfect ambush, however when it came to applying it at the time something always seemed to go wrong. Barend has just come back from a week’s leave in the nightclubs and bars of Pretoria and was coming out on his first ambush since getting back. Therefore being a good leader and knowing how confusing occupying an ambush in an area you have not scouted before can be I made sure that we moved into the firm base behind the ambush site early in order to show him the ground in daylight (everything was going to plan because the elephants were not around!). We were sitting in the firm base and I was giving confirmatory orders to Barend about half an hour before dark, when all of a sudden he jumps up and says ‘watch out it will kick you’. Being the highly trained professional I was immediately on guard and spun around to confront this evil threat only to see a young ostrich who had decided that this looked like fun and he wanted to join in the orders.
Immediately I thought back to my intensive training at Duntroon and scanned my memory for the ‘what to do if an ostrich walks into your firm base when about to occupy an ambush’ lesson. Nothing came to mind (I must have slept through that lesson!). So here is Gary and Barend jumping around like epileptic octopuses trying to shoo this ostrich out (AJ and Hennie were away sitting in an observation post at the time). No matter what we did the ostrich would not leave. While we were pondering what to do next, one of our most trusted local workers is cycling past on his way home along a road about 150 m away, so in my best tactically silent bellow I shout ‘Jeffery, come here’. At this, Jeffery almost has a heart attack, drops his bicycle in the middle of the road and bolts off into the bush, meanwhile the ostrich thinks this is a great game. When we finally get to Jeffry we tell him to get rid of the ostrich, so after running around and waving of rifles and branches Jeffry manages to chase the ostrich off to a nearby water point and goes on his way. I wonder what my directing staff at Duntroon would say?
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| The anti-poaching ostrich at arriving at orders. |
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| The anti-poaching ostrich getting excited at the prospect of the ambush! |
Occupation of the ambush now goes ahead smoothly. Anyway about 2100 hr Barand hears a stealthy approach through the bush on the other side of the track, here are the poachers we have been waiting for! As the moon is not up yet it is pitch dark so Barend turns on his active infra red (IR) on his night vision goggles, and lo and behold there is the eye shine approaching through the bush. IR off and Barend raises his rifle, time for a quick final check IR back on, and there is the poacher only about two metres away, head down and weapon pointed straight at Barend. He stands about two metres tall, weighs in the vicinity of about two tonnes and is a huge white rhino! Barend being the cool calm professional and experienced bush hand acts without thinking. He screams, jumps up, turns around and runs! Meanwhile, the rhino screams, turns around and runs, in the opposite direction! Barend is pretty shaken for the next few hours, especially as the rhino keeps circling us looking for his mate who went in the opposite direction.
I will have to write to Duntroon and tell them to include actions on ostriches and rhinos in their training.
Notably, throughout all of this, not a peep was heard from the elephants, and I am sure they had something to do with setting this night’s activities up!
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